How to Love Yourself in Your Now Body
Have you ever felt like you’re waiting to reach some imaginary finish line before you can finally start loving yourself? For 25 years, I lived in that perpetual waiting room, believing that self-love was something I needed to earn. Today, I want to share my journey of learning how to love yourself exactly as you are, in your now body – no conditions attached.
Why Loving Yourself Feels So Hard Right Now
Let’s be honest – if you’ve spent years thinking your body isn’t “enough,” the idea of loving yourself probably feels like a stretch. I get it because I’ve been there. Through years of socialization, we’ve unknowingly become experts at criticizing ourselves, building an impressive skillset of finding reasons why we’re not worthy of self-love… yet.
Sound familiar?
– “I’ll love myself when I take better care of my body”
– “Once I fix this one thing, then I’ll be worthy”
– “If I could just change X, Y, or Z, self-love would come naturally”
Here’s the truth I wish someone had told me sooner: If you keep believing you have to change before you can love yourself, you’ll be stuck in that cycle forever. I know because I spent over 25 years trapped in that exact pattern.
My Personal Journey to Self-Love
Looking back, I can pinpoint exactly how this cycle manifested in my life. Every Monday, I’d start a new diet, convinced that this time would be different. I’d meticulously track every calorie, schedule every workout, and promise myself that once I reached my “goal weight,” I’d finally feel worthy of love.
But here’s what actually happened: Even when I did reach those arbitrary goals, the self-love I desperately sought remained elusive. I’d find new flaws to fix, new measurements to obsess over, and new reasons why I wasn’t “quite there yet.”
The turning point came during a particularly exhausting cycle of restriction and self-criticism. I realized I’d spent more time hating my body than I had loving any other aspect of my life. That thought stopped me cold. How many precious moments had I missed because I was too busy planning my next transformation?
The Mindset Shift That Changed Everything
In my forties, exhaustion finally caught up with me. I was tired of trying to earn my way to self-love through “perfect” behavior. That’s when a coach asked me something that changed everything: “What if you took the risk to love yourself right now? Unconditional to your behaviors?”
This question stopped me in my tracks. I realized I had been trying to hustle my way to self-love, believing that:
– More “right” behaviors would earn me self-love
– Less “wrong” behaviors would make me worthy
– Self-love was something to achieve rather than choose
How to Start Loving Yourself in Your Now Body Today
The journey to self-love isn’t about changing your body – it’s about changing your mind. Here’s how to begin:
1. Make the Decision
Love, like any other feeling, is created by the thoughts we think, not the actions we take. You must actively decide to love yourself. This means consciously choosing to think thoughts that create feelings of love, even (and especially) when it feels uncomfortable.
2. Authorize Yourself
Stop waiting for permission. You need to self-authorize to think loving thoughts about yourself because that authorization won’t come from anyone else. You have the power to grant yourself this permission right now.
3. Embrace Discomfort
Learning to love yourself will feel uncomfortable at first. My inability to sit with this discomfort kept me in diet culture for decades. Being comfortable with discomfort is a crucial part of the journey.
What the Transformation Really Looks Like
The path to self-love isn’t linear – it’s more like a spiral staircase. Here’s what you can expect along the way:
The Early Days
In the beginning, you’ll catch yourself falling into old patterns of self-criticism. That’s normal. The difference is that now you’ll recognize these thoughts for what they are: learned behaviors, not truths. Each time you notice these thoughts, you have a new opportunity to choose differently.
The Middle Ground
As you practice self-love, you’ll start having more good days than bad. You might still struggle, but you’ll recover faster. I remember the first time I looked in the mirror and my first thought wasn’t about what needed to be “fixed” – it was a moment of genuine appreciation for my body’s strength and resilience.
The New Normal
Eventually, self-love becomes your default setting. For me, this means:
– Starting each day with acceptance rather than criticism
– Treating myself with the same compassion I offer others
– Seeing setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than proof of unworthiness
– Choosing clothes that feel good now, not waiting for some future version of myself
What Self-Love Looks Like Now
Today, loving myself is my default state of being. It’s not something I earn – it’s something I choose, regardless of what I do or don’t do. When I notice myself steering away from self-love, I see it as a signal to pause and reevaluate my thoughts, not my body.
Remember: You must love yourself to the future you want. Waiting until you’ve changed to start loving yourself is like waiting until you’ve reached your destination to put gas in your car – it just doesn’t work.
The path to loving yourself in your now body starts with a single decision – the decision to stop waiting and start loving yourself today. Are you ready to make that choice?
Ready to Transform Your Relationship with Self-Love?
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