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The word Self Care is central to many of my teaching. You need to learn how to put yourself first without guilt because I strongly believe and know that if you don’t take care of yourself…no one will.
There will no be a magical angel that will come down from the sky to sprinkle you with fairy dust, making you more in control of your eating, leaner, or more fit.
You’re are going to have to do the work. The only way for you to do the work is for you to actually make time in your schedule to do it.
I’m sure I’m not teaching anything new here… you know it intellectually. However, when you try to do it, you might find yourself struggling with the feeling of guilt. Taking the time to go for a walk is not nearly as important as your son’s competitive sports or your boss’ need of the new report tomorrow. Or even your mom’s need to go shopping… maybe your sister needing to vent about her husband.
Because if you say yes to yourself, you say no to others, which means they may not like you as much or not think of you as highly. Worse, they may think you are selfish and being selfish is sooo bad. Right?
If You Don’t Fill Your Health Bank Account, Who Will?
Your health is your like your bank account. No one will come in and fill up your savings account with loads of money so your won’t have to worry about your financial future. Miracles do happen, but let’s be realistic. We can stand still and wait for miracles to happen or we take action to create the change. And for you to be able to do this, you must learn how to put yourself first without guilt.
If you don’t take care of yourself, who will? Like seriously, no one will. No one can step into your body for you, clear up your mind, de-stress or move your beautiful body for you. The only person capable of that is you.
See the investment of time in yourself as filling your bank account so your can give more to others. You can be a better version of yourself and give more profoundly and in a more meaningful way.
If you take time to cook the food that are best for your body, your mood will be better. Consequently, you will be more loving to your partner or kids. If you take the time to go for a mid-day walk at work, you will be more productive in the afternoon for your boss. If you say no to your girl friend’s request to go the movies you really have zero interest in seeing, you will be less resentful next time you see her and be able to go the mindfulness course you’ve needed to take for the last few months and will become a more present friend..
Get it? Invest in your bank account to be a better person for others.
How to Put Yourself First Without Guilt: Know Your Worth
By simply choosing to make other’s needs, time, and desires more important than yours, you are making a statement to others that they are more important than you. You are telling others that you’re not worth as much as they are. You are fueling the vicious cycle of expectation on yourself.
It’s not their fault… you have created that belief, that perception of yourself by not making yourself a priority. By never making choice for you and by not taking the time to care for yourself, you are telling them that you do not think your are worth it. So they will keep asking and expecting.
The key to stopping this vicious cycle is this: accepting that you are worth as much as the other people in your life. When you do this, you will start making different choices. It will be uncomfortable at first, but you will send the message. In time, the people around you will start seeing you differently and will treat you with more respect.
Why? Because you are respecting yourself! You are respecting yourself by knowing your worth and putting yourself first. By putting yourself first, you will make choices that show people around you how much you’re worth.
Why are We Feeling Guilty?
Guilt is a way we have of recognizing that we have not lived up to our own values and standards. The question for you is, are the values and standards you are feeling guilty about good for you?
Are the values and standards you are feeling guilty about promote the best version of yourself or OTHERS?
Know that as you change your own perception of yourself, as you start believing in yourself and knowing your worth, the guilt will no longer be present. You will know deep down inside that you are making the best choices for yourself and others. Because when you’re the best version of yourself, you can give more of yourself to others. Keeping that in mind is how to put yourself first without guilt!
Last episode, I had a successful live Q & A session with the ladies in my tribe. I answered all their burning questions about self compassion, amenorrhea, social eating, and other topics. I highly recommend this episode. If you like it, do let me know so I’ll make more episodes in this format. You can listen to the episode here.
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