374-One-on-One Coaching: 25 Ways It Changed Me Part 2

1-1 Coaching: 25 Ways It Changed Me Part 2

Many women have commented upon hearing my personal journey going from being a 25 years dieter to living a food freedom life and being body neutral as a fat woman and say, “I could never do that!”… I could have never done this on my own either. I had a lot of support along the way.

Today in this episode, I will take you behind the scenes and share with you 25 ways one-one  coaching contributed to me achieving my goals.

This is part 2 of 2 episodes.

What you’ll learn listening to this episode on 1-1 Coaching: 25 ways it changed me Part 2:

• Why I decided to hire my first coach
• 15 ways one to one coaching changed me

Mentioned in the show: 

Health Habits Checklist

Undiet Your Life Program

Non-Diet Coaching Certification

Transcript

1-1 Coaching: 25 Ways It Changed Me Part 2

This is episode 374 of the Beyond the Food Show and this is part 2 of Coaching 101, 25 Ways That It Changed Me. You ready? Let’s do part two.

Welcome back to the show, my sisters. And we are going to do part two of one on one coaching and 25 ways that it changed me. And if you’re. So if you’re listening to this episode and you haven’t done part one, that’s my recommendation. because I set up the topic for you to understand why I’m sharing this and my personal story around one on one coaching.

So I will assume that all of you have listened to part one and I’m going to just go right into part two and give you 15 ways into which private coaching. Really changed me and allowed me to be here today recording this podcast. I want to clarify one thing before we moved into the 15 ways. I want to talk about the difference between group coaching and one on one coaching. Both are aimed to achieve the same goal, which is to get you from where you are today and achieving your goal, whatever that goal is in that circumstance of your life. The difference is between group coaching and one on one coaching is the individualization of the recommendation, the guidance, and the coaching. When you are in a group coaching format, the coach present. There to coach and answer question does not have your personal story does not have Your history does not know you Deeply like a one on one coach. So the Coaching that will be provided to you. So in most cases like for us inside of on diet your life It’s the same vehicle.

So we, our group coaching is hosted on Zoom, a virtual platform where for one hour, a coach is in that Zoom room available to coach you. It’s up to you to show up to that Zoom room with the URL we send you to show up and then to raise your hand. and to access the coach and asking question and giving them a circumstance that you need coaching with.

And the coaching you will receive will be as individualized as it is possible for the coach to make. The coach will like you. Ask you one or two questions to like really understand the circumstance and then provide coaching because they know you only from that interaction on the call. They know you for that an average 15 minutes that they have to be with you.

A one on one coach is with you for, in our case, inside of Undiet Your Life. Six months, every week, except the fourth week of every month where it’s a place of integration, but they’re there spending an hour with you and they have taken an in depth intake the very first appointment to understand your background, the things that have happened to you, really clearly understand your goal based on your life, your circumstance, right?

So there’s a lot more. Knowing of you as a client in a depth that group coaching cannot provide to you. So the individualization, the depth of coaching will be less in a group format. And that’s why the price is different between group coaching and one on one coaching. I love group coaching. Because it makes coaching accessible to everyone or most of everyone, right?

In our case, our group option to join Undie at Your Life is accessible.

It’s accessible to most people. Plus. We offer a payment plan system at no cost that allows that many more people to join when they’re able to pay the fee over a three month period. The one on one coaching is four times more expensive because you have to pay for the undivided, undisturbed attention. of a coach for one hour and the work that the coach is doing thinking about you and your circumstance between session to be prepared for the next session.

So yeah, it’s more potent and powerful to have a one on one coach. However, based on your circumstance, if you Have a financial circumstance that you can’t afford at this moment. One-on-one coaching, group coaching is the next best option for you to get, still access to a coach and get advice on your particular circumstance instead of being stuck in it.

So I wanted to explain the difference between the two to answer that. No matter who you are in your circumstance, you know that it is accessible to you. Just one more thing I forgot to say. In our case in On Diet Your Life, we have group coaching twice a month. So instead of being weekly, it’s twice a month that you then can access your coach or a coach from the program to help you versus the weekly for The one on one coaching.

The coaching itself is the same, like who coached for me during the group coaching is the same coach that can also be your one on one coach. So you have the same quality of coaching, the same professionalism of the coach, but not as long access to that coach or as in depth. Okay, I stopped on part one on The 10th way that one on one coaching changed me.

Let’s go on to 11. One on one coaching and group coaching based on your capacity and your accessibility is the cheapest way to get results. And for me, when I came, when I started to hire a coach for intuitive eating, that was my first point of access to one on one coaching. I wasn’t getting the success on my own and had been doing intuitive eating for I think it was close to eight or nine months and I was really frustrated with myself and quite honestly, I wanted to quit and that’s what drove me to get like this potentiality of failure is what drove me.

To go get a coach now would have started with a one on one coach from the get go. It would have been a lot faster and quite honestly, a lot cheaper to get the result because I would have got really unique ways of approaching intuitive eating for me, and it would have eliminated months of trial and error.

And quite honestly, a ton of mistake that I made trying to do it on my own. And I want to mention one more thing.

I’ve accessed coaching in my first career in a corporate world. I wasn’t paying for coaching. My company was paying for a coach for me. But it wasn’t stigmatizing to go get a coach. It was culturally very well seen to have a coach. She was… a sign that you really wanted to do well in your job and that you had value for the company when you were assigned a coach.

It meant nothing bad about you. When I came to the world of intuitive eating and diet culture, I was in that mindset. But what I realized when I started to sell coaching is that many women believe that getting a coach meant that they weren’t. Good enough to do it on their own. I want to address that because to me that’s bullshit.

That’s just another way that patriarchy keeps us stuck in diet culture is by Perpetuating the belief that asking for help is Means we aren’t good enough and it is not just in the context of food and body image. I was coaching someone on motherhood an hour ago, two hours ago, and we came through the same place that asking for help as a mother for her in her case.

Babysitting her child was a sign that she wasn’t a good mother. That, my sister, that belief that we should be able to do it alone, that asking for help means that we are less than, It’s part of the reason why we’re stuck wherever we’re stuck

with that in mind. We’ve got to change that belief and we’re going to ask for help. Whatever is accessible for you right now. 12th way coaching helped me experience more of life. I have to be quite honest with you, the life that I’m leading today in 2023 is pretty awesome for me. I have achieved a lot of my personal goal, things that I, ways that I wanted to live my life.

I’ve like crossed off the bucket list, like to what I want for my life. There’s not a lot left on the bucket lists. I live the life that I have been dreaming of 10 years ago. I’m a digital nomad. I travel six months of the year. I work from home. I don’t have to travel to work anymore. Like I make good money helping people like you.

That’s my, that was my dream life. I experienced a hell of a lot more of my life today. Then any time in the past,

why, because my coach showed me way that I was lying to myself. Things that I didn’t think were possible for me. Social construct that I thought I had no choice but to obey to, but in fact were optional. It’s because I had someone else, I had the courage, the vulnerability of asking someone else to look over my shoulder.

and show me what I was missing, what I wasn’t seeing. My blind spot, we’ll come to that in another point. My coach was showing me my blind spot and I was able to see them, address them and move on. So they were no longer blind. They were no longer holding me back to live my best life. And which leads me to the next point, the, one of the most potent way that one on one coaching helped me.

It was having the courage to pay someone to tell me what I needed to hear versus what I wanted to hear. This is so powerful. That’s the difference between friendship and coaching. Your friend is not your coach.I have conversation with friends that are vastly different than conversation with my coach.

My friends are there to listen to me, to empathize with me, right? When I’m having a shitty day, I can call my friend. Complain, they’re going to listen to me, they’re going to validate me, I’m going to hang up. When I go to my coach and I start complaining, my coach put a stop to this, they call me out on my bullshit, they show me how I play my victim mindset, they offer me a different perspective to put me back in my power and keep moving forward.

Your coach is not your friend. Your friend is not your coach. Your friend is paid to hear you say what you want to say. A coach is paid to hear you and tell you what you don’t want to hear so you can get to your goal faster. And you can get there, which is my point number 14. You can get to your goal faster with a heck of a lot less suffering.

And I’m going to tell you, I’m going to give you a short story on body image coaching. I hired two coach. One on one coach for body image. My first one was a disaster. The first one was teaching. She was from the philosophy. It’s very important that you research your coach, by the way. That’s why, like I offer coaching within my philosophy and my value and my approach to food and body image.

So, if you like me, my coaches will. coaching the exact same philosophy. Anyway, so I hired this coach who had the philosophy of body positivity. And she coached me into what she believed into, which is body positivity. And I had to put myself naked in front of a mirror and look at myself in the eyes, look at my body and say, I love myself.

I love myself. And I ended up with panic attack in a hospital and a lot of suffering when I ended the relationship with that coach, because I ended up with panic attack, I thought I was the problem and that spiraled me down for a good 6 to 12 months thinking, I’ll never be able to accept my body because look what happened when I hired this coach and like, I’m the problem when you find a When you’re matched with the right coach, when you find the right coach, the path to your goal will be difficult, it will be hard, but it will not require suffering.

It will eliminate the suffering. We have to be sure we’re not confusing having, like, experiencing hard These are two different things. When you’re pursuing a goal, it’s supposed to be hard. That’s not suffering. Suffering is depression, anxiety, emotional overwhelm, thinking of yourself as less than that. That’s suffering. A coach will prevent that, will prevent having to use willpower and will actually help you find the root cause of why you are where you are and what you need to do to get to where you want to be with less suffering, less time and less willpower. And that’s point number 15. How coaches do that is they allow you to be in your agency and they will teach you how to use your most powerful organ, not your willpower.

But your brain, it will teach you how to use your brain, how to be with your emotion so that you stay in your power or you cultivate your power if you’re disempowered,

which bring me to point 15 for me, one of my biggest gain of coaching has been. Learning to master my emotion instead of coping with my emotion. I talked about in part one of relating to our emotion, like the radar of our life. That’s the most potent gift that coaching has provided me is seeing my emotion as my partner.

Imagine that. Imagine if you could be in a relationship with your emotion that is a partnership instead of. A problem to solve, which brings me to point 17 coaching my coaches taught me how to respond to uncontrollable life event in the most productive way towards my goal, we can’t control. The uncontrollable.

And that’s a big step for us as people who have controlled food, right? We think if we could control food and life, our life will be better. No. Accepting that life is mostly uncontrollable, life circumstance, other people, your job. Politics, like all of that is on control, like you have no control on those things and seeking control is the path of suffering.

Instead, it’s about controlling what you can control in face of those event, which is you, your emotion and your brain. And that’s what coaching. Provides you with is like your coach will tell you, here’s how you’re currently seeing this and that creates this suffering for you. What about if you were to look at it this way?

Would you experience less suffering? What about this? And it gets you out of thinking there’s only one way of seeing things and why you’re Stuck not achieving your goal, but instead if you’re deciding to look at life in a way that matches with the path towards your goal, you’re going to get there faster.

One other thing that coaching has really brought forward to me is ending my relationship with being in a constant state of reaction and reacting to life. Instead of responding to life and when I sit with my coach and I unpack what has happened in the week prior, and I’m being presented with different ways of thinking and reacting to the thing, I.

Get to cultivate a different portfolio of ways of looking and thinking about things that allows me to choose my response instead of constantly being spinning like on the hamster wheel and constant reaction and reaction and. Put out that fire, put out that fire, and put out that fire, like being in that state is unproductive, reacting to life prevents you from achieving your goals.

You, we have to get off of the hamster wheel of reaction, move into a space of responding to life. In order for us to take action that are aligned with our goal, which one of the basic of life point 19 is being in a one on one coaching relationship allows me to witness my own goodness. Because again, it’s not just my brain.

Human brains are programmed to pick apart things that we’re doing wrong.

And when we do that, we’re constantly in the state of fixing ourselves. When you’re with a coach, part of a coach duty is to show you what you’re doing well and move you out of self criticism and in a space of acceptance. And they do that by. Looking neutrally at you and at your life and actually being cognizant of what we do well and telling us the things we’re doing well, so we can start recognizing it by ourselves and be our own source of validation point number 20.

I think I talked about it at length, but being in a coaching relationship is having a mirror that reflects the true version of ourselves. That we can, point number 21, see our blind spot and prevent the unproductive pattern towards our goal. And I’m going to finish with this. A coach is hired by your dream.

So you don’t fuck it up. I don’t know if it’s me who came up with that or if I read it somewhere, but that has stuck with me. When I’m embarking on a big project, a new creation in my life, I always default to hiring a one on one coach because I want to get there fast. Like I want to achieve the goal, live the dream that I want to live.

And I want to minimize as much as possible. Fucking it up because I know my brain is not wired to make this happens with he’s, it’s going to like prevent me from happening. So I’m going to like, fuck it up. I want to get there as fast as possible. So I came up with that coach that, that quote, sorry, that says a coach is hired by your dream, so you don’t fuck it up.

I may have read it somewhere, but I think it’s a pretty good definition of one on one coaching. At the end of the day, it helps us. Achieve the life we want to live, or solve the problem that we have so we can live the life that we want faster, easier, in a sustainable, consistent way. I hope this serves you well.

I would love to have questions from you. I’m an open book, as many of you have been listening to the podcast for a long time. If you have any specific question around one on one coaching, by all means, reach out to me on social media. I’ll be my pleasure to answer it. And if you are looking for a one on one coach in the area of mindset, emotions, body image, health and self acceptance.

I can match you with a coach that will fulfilled those 25 ways. I trained my coaches and my certification to provide that level and type of container for one on one coaches. So I’d be honored to help you with the right match for you. I love you, my sister, and I’ll see you on the next podcast.