373-One-on-One Coaching: 25 Ways It Changed Me Part 1

One to One coaching is how I changed my life. 

Many women have commented upon hearing my personal journey going from being a 25 years dieter to living a food freedom life and being body neutral as a fat woman and say, “I could never do that!”… I could have never done this on my own either. I had a lot of support along the way.

Today in this episode, I will take you behind the scenes and share with you 25 ways one-one  coaching contributed to me achieving my goals.

This is part 1 of 2 episodes.

What you’ll learn listening to this episode:

• Why I decided to hire my first coach
• 10 ways one to one coaching changed me

Mentioned in the show: 

Undiet Your Life Program

Non-Diet Coaching Certification

Transcript

One-on-One Coaching: 25 Ways It Changed Me Part 1

This is episode 373 of the Beyond the Food Show, and today it is a personal episode where I’m gonna share with you 25 ways that one-on-one coaching change. Who I am, and I want you to think about that as a checklist to see if one-on-one coaching can help you specifically. Ready? Stay tuned.

Welcome back to the show, my sister, and today we’re gonna talk about one-on-one coaching or private coaching, and I’m gonna illustrate one-on-one coaching. I’m gonna define it, I’m gonna show you what it is with my personal life experience and What it contributed to my life and how it changed who I am.

And I wanna start with this. Many people will encounter me on social media, will start listening to my podcast, and they will hear me talk about my story and they will. I think they’re assuming that I am special or unique or. Gifted with a different, I don’t know, a different brain, a different personality that allow me to change my life the way that I did, and that kind of transformation is not for them because it’s just they can’t do it.

If that’s you, If you’ve never heard me talk about how I created the change in my life that I did, This episode is for you. Here’s what I want you to know. I did not do that on my own. I am not gifted with special skillset. I don’t have a better attune nervous system. I don’t have talents that you don’t have.

What I had, Is a lot of support and I wanna acknowledge the fact that I have, I had, and I have financial privilege that allow me to redirect some of my. Spending that wasn’t assigned to the basic of life like that, like the food and the shelter and all that basic needs of life. I had a surplus. Like most of you listening to this podcast, you’re probably in that financial privilege situation where you have more than the basic.

I had that too. So I had that financial privilege that some of you may not have, and then I decided over the last 10 years to redirect some of that, some of these finances and invest in me. and the medium by which I decided to invest in me was in one-to-one coaching, in private coaching, in hiring coaches, specialists in different field.

That allowed me to fast track different transformation in my life. So I hired a. 1 0 1 Intuitive Eden Coach. I hired a 1 0 1 body image coach. I hired a 1 0 1. Thought work coach. I hired a one-on-one nervous system coach. I hired people in different specialty that allow me to take that area of my life.

Really focus on it while being supported and fast track the embodiment of those skillset in me. That’s how I created the transformation in my life. I. I did it because I was supported along the way and it changed my life. So here’s what I wanna do with you today. I wanna go through, I did an exercise a few months back on finding.

25 different ways that coaching change aspects of my life. I did that with someone I’m working with, another, coach that I’m working with who asked me to do this homework and I thought, this could serve as a checklist for some of you listening to this to say, like, I heard about one-on-one coaching.

I’ve never experienced it. I don’t know if it can help me. So I want you to go through this, these next. Few minutes, and I’m gonna share this with you to say, okay, this is how it can help someone and could it help me? And I’m gonna illustrate that with my life, right? The best way for me to take those complex,

those complex elements, like one-on-one coaching that is foreign to most people is by illustrating it with. Real life stories. So I’m gonna open up my personal life to you so that you can see what one-on-one coaching look like. So let’s go through the basic here. So, hiring a one-on-one coach means you sit with someone privately, one-on-ones, either on zoom or face-to-face.

Now for me it was, it’s always been virtual. So all my one-on-one coach I met on Zoom. Every week for a predetermined amount of time. We set goals at the beginning of our time together, and then this individual met with me for 50 minutes every week and helped me implement the things I needed to implement in order to achieve the goal.

I had predetermined with this person. As I mentioned in the beginning, it was a very specific area of my life. So here’s the gift that these one-on-one coach container of coaching changed my life. Probably the most powerful way it helped me is by having someone else. Believing in my possibility to achieve this goal, right?

Having someone holding the belief that it is possible for me to achieve this goal. I. Was tremendously impactful because when you’re left alone with your brain, our like human brain, our human brain is wired to not believe that change is accessible to us because the way that one of the many ways that our brain keeps us safe in a very unsafe environment is by keeping our experience of life the same. So your brain works subconsciously to keep you in the same current experience of life you have. And when. So when you take a goal and you intentionally say to your brain, now we’re gonna change the way we experience food. Your brain is a little bit of a meltdown.

The brain will do everything to convince you. It’s not possible for you. Nothing has gone wrong. That’s the job of the human brain. So when you go into a goal of changing a part of your life, having an external person hold the belief for you that is possible to help you contradict your brain is so incredibly.

Powerful. So I would say that is the one of the most powerful way that one-on-one coaching can help you is having someone believe in what you want to achieve. Number two, coach will help you. Fight the limitation that your brain is imposing you. So when your brain offers you a reason why it’s not possible for you to achieve this goal, and you are convinced it is true, and you expose that thought to your coach on your next appointment, your coach will call bullshit on that perceived truth that you have, right? Like, and that happens when you start something new. The first weeks, the first months that you’re working towards a goal. Every week, it’s kind of come back to ground zero. It’s like, okay, I wanna achieve this. You talk with your coach, you feel all pumped.

You leave the coaching call, and then the next seven days, or six and a half days happen, and then you meet with your coach again and you’re like, Well, it worked really well the first couple days and then this happened, and now I’m convinced it’s not possible for me. Your coach will help you call bullshit and call truth when it’s truth and help you choose a new way of thinking about the situation that helps you fight for your limitation.

Three. My coaches taught me how to have my own back, and they called me out when I wasn’t doing that. When I was being unkind to myself, when I was being mean to myself, when I was being my enemy. My coach called me out and said, okay, like, you’re not nice to yourself right here. Let’s look at another way of approaching that will be kinder to yourself.

That’s what it means to have your own back, right? Is to be kind to yourself. And most of us, it’s funny ’cause I just posted on that on social media a couple days ago on how to tune out your. Self-critical mind, and so many of you engaged with the post and said, that’s exactly it. Like I’m mean to myself.

Nothing has gone wrong with your brain, like it’s normal for human brain to be mean to themselves. That’s how your brain keeps you in the current experience you are in. So having a one-on-one coach to call you out and to teach you how to be kind to yourself is so powerful. Fourth ways one-on-one coaching changed my life.

It helped me catch the wrong decision that I was doing towards my goal before I actually made them. And my coach always kept guiding me back to make intentional decision. I. That will enable me to reach my goal, and that’s what you do with a one-on-one coach. It’s a very private environment where two human talk to each other and get really intimate with each other, and so that you share.

Your thoughts, your decision, the way you’re approaching your goal, and this neutral coach, this other person on the other side of the camera who’s trained to be neutral, calm, and receptive, listens to you and say, actually, this thing you wanna do right now is not gonna get you to your goal. And then they propose you another way, another decision that will actually lead you to your goal. Do you know how powerful that is? Now, granted, you have to be willing to be vulnerable to share these decision, these thoughts with your coach, but that’s what coaching is about. And that so that they can course correct before catastrophe happen, right before you quit because it doesn’t work.

Fifth way that one-on-one coaching changed my life. Coaching taught me how to process my emotion, and I remember that that was very true in the first few coaches that PI hired until that skillset of processing my emotion became innate in me. But it took a good couple years. Of me processing my emotion with a professional, a coach that was forcing me to sit with my uncomfortable emotion so I can learn how to feel them and release them.

And help me move forward past the drama and the spining down cycle of those overwhelming emotion can bring forward instead of being alone. And that spiral down. And I’m sure when I’m sharing the term spiral down, many of you are like, oh my God, can we talk about this? Like, that was my reality too. I used to get caught in those spiral down cycle that sometimes would last weeks and months.

But when I was working with a coach, these spiral down weren’t lasting weeks and months because every week I was meeting with this coach I. I had this steady appointment every week, and then they would catch me, like really hold space for me feeling these emotions and then helping me process them, teaching me how to do it over and over again so I could leave the appointment in a more neutral, positive emotional state, and then continue for the next seven days to work toward my goal.

Powerful. Oh my God. Like you get to your goal so much faster when you’re not caught in those downward spiral for weeks and months.

Sixth way one-on-one coaching helped me. The outcome of what I just said in number five is being emotionally intelligent. So at every time I hired a coach to help me, I became more and more emotionally intelligent, and my coaches were able to meet me where I was in my journey of learning how to engage with my emotion and teach me new skillset at every level.

From the first coach who taught me to close my eyes and take a deep breath to the last coach who was teaching me somatic skills to process my emotion at a nervous system level, like I. These are different, more advanced every time skillset. So coaching is what taught me to become emotionally intelligent so that today I can face any emotion I.

Come out of those emotion still on my way, towards my goal. Seventh ways. that one-on-one coaching changed me. It allowed me to truly see myself. Let me explain. It allowed me to have someone look over me for an extended amount of time and see my patterns because each one of us individually have different thinking pattern and emotional pattern, and having someone witness you week in and week out.

They can see your pattern. They can call them out, name them for you, and create a plan for you to change these patterns. And these are the most desperate pattern. That I had. So I’ll take you the example of body image, right? So we’re gonna dial back the clock probably seven years ago when I quote unquote.

Finally, I. Decided to ask for help and hire a coach. That person was called me out quite honestly, on the fact that I wanted to be body neutral, but I kept not buying clothes to fit my body. I. And that pattern had been ongoing for three years. I had quit dieting three years ago when I was gaining weight, and I kept trying to fit my body in the same clothes, and I didn’t see that as a problem.

Right. And that coach saw that pattern and saw that pattern reflecting in many other parts of my life and was able to name it, call it, and help me change it so that I could achieve the goal of being a body neutral person. So being vulnerable in front of a coach and having a coach CD pattern and name them for you and create a plan to change them is what creates the result that you want towards your goal.

The next eight point that I’m gonna share with you is an overall kind of assessment of coaching, coaching. When you coach with a one-on-one coach,a professional coach, it’s like getting a master degree in your own human behavior. It’s like having this very intelligent mirror. Imagine the mirror like a big tall mirror, full body mirror, very intelligent with a very powerful computer train to teach you about your own specific human behavior, and show you which one is working and which one is not working.

You get to understand why you do what you do. Without shame, without blame, clearly outline why you do what you do so that you can change it once and for all, because you’re addressing the root cause of your behavior, of your pattern, of the reason why you don’t have what you have or what you wanna have in your life.

Right? That it is for me to become an intuitive eater, to become a body neutral person. Right to run my business. I’ve hired so many business coaches to different aspects of my business, so I can learn to do these things and create the result that I wanted. I’m telling you, getting a one-on-one coach, investing in a one-on-one coach for yourself will give you a master degree in your own human behavior and tools to change your behavior for the rest of your life.

another thing before I go to number nine. Coaching with a professional coach will not only help you change your behavior, but you will learn the process. That’s how I learn cognitive behavioral therapy and that’s how I learn cognitive behavioral coaching. ’cause I hired a therapist who was using cognitive behavioral therapy and I learn.

What she was doing with me, and then I started to apply it to myself on my own. when I wasn’t working with a coach, I was taking those skillset I learned, and then I became my own coach. So for an example, when I hired. Intuitive eating coach. I think I worked with this person for seven months and then I coach myself for intuitive eating for the rest of my life.

And then the same thing with body image. I worked with the coach I think for six months, and then now I’m my own coach. For my body image, so when body image stuff come up, I know exactly what to do. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, done. Because I’ve learned it, I’ve learned that skill while working with my coach. Ninth way that coaching changed who I am coaching reframed the event that were happening in my life.

Empowering way coaching my coach, was showing me, and this is kind of hard to say, but my coaches were very professionally showing me. Where I was being in a victim mindset, ‘ cause I had a lot of this, I had a lot of patterns in my brain to look at what was happening in my life as me being the victim and somebody else having power over me. What I didn’t realize as I’m saying that, is that when I was.

Victimizing myself, I was giving my power away to the other thing, the other person, and I could never feel powerful in that circumstance because I was the victim of someone else more powerful than me. And that’s kind of difficult just as I’m sharing that with you. That I used to have a lot of victim mindset, patterns of behavior, like you have to be vulnerable, but that’s the power of private coaching is you can be vulnerable very safely with your coach.

So they can see where you’re playing the victim, and then they can help you reframe these event in a way where you won’t be the victim, but actually where you can find your power and take responsibility for yourself to change your experience. These are the moments in your, in my coaching session and if you go down the path of hiring a one-on-one coach where I.

It’s very emotionally overwhelming. It’s emotionally overwhelming to have someone very compassionately telling you that you’re being, you’re playing the victim right now. ’cause you don’t wanna see yourself as a victim. None of us want to, none of us are proud to play the victim. That’s why it’s kind of even difficult to say it on the podcast, like no one wants to say, Hey, I’m a victim of my life, but we are wherever we are, not achieving what we want in our life.

I guarantee you, just like I was, you’re playing the victim in some part of this. And that is what you need to do to achieve. The goal is to stop playing the victim and take responsibility for yourself, and that’s what private coaching can do for you. I’m quickly realizing that I’m gonna go way over time, so we’re gonna have to do a part one and a part two of this.

I’m gonna show the 10th way that coaching changed me and then we’re gonna cut off the episode and come back for a part two of this, the 10th way. Working with a coach helps you create new beliefs, new ways of looking at things, new belief about specific area of your life that can liberate you from the situation you don’t want to live anymore.

So I’ll take the example of food and body image. So working with a coach. Helps you create very unique individualized beliefs about your body so you can liberate yourself from that culture. Because each one of us have a different story and a different life experience, and a different family system, and a different trauma log of what happened to us towards our body. So it is not true that everybody needs to think this belief. I know I often propose to you beliefs because you have, you’re not working one-on-one with me, so I kind of have to give you like, My body is a vehicle to experience life kind of belief, but you need some very specific one based on your own past and story, and that work you can do on your own, or you can work with a coach who can create very specific belief based on everything that happened to you in order to fast track your own liberation from that culture or the social context that’s very applicable to you.

All of it done from a place of power. So I hope this is helping you. I’m gonna come back with the last 15 ways that coaching helped me change my life. If as I’m sharing this here, your you are wanting, To work with a one-on-one coach. I want to offer to you that I do have resources for you. It mean that I train coaches in a cognitive behavioral modeling system and a, social justice intersectional coaching framework via the non-direct coaching certification, and I can.

Provide you through my company one-on-one coaching. So we offer that through Andie Your Life. You will see if you go to ww dot stephanie dozi.com/onie your life, you will see there’s two ways to join. My world. One is a group structure where you do the work on your own and you have access to biweekly group coaching call where you can have like a short bit of time with a coach, like a 10 to 15 minutes session with a coach, or we have a one to one.

Option to join on Diet Your Life to work with a coach that I have trained in my way of approaching diet culture that is skilled to coach you on. Mindset, emotional intelligence, food, body image, and health to help you progress to an undyed life very uniquely individualized for you. So that’s an option for you that where I can help you match you with a one-on-one coach.

We’ll come back on the next episode and I’ll share. 15 other ways that coaching has changed and made me who I am today and being able to record this episode. I’ll see you in the next episode.