Overcoming resistance
Overcoming resistance to do what you want to do is where people get themselves stuck. The number 1 mistake people make is resisting the resistance.
In this episode, I’m going to walk you through another approach to overcoming the resistance.
Powerful questions to ask yourself to discover your relationship to resistance
- What if the resistance was to deliver an important message straight from your intuition?
- What if partnering with the resistance was the most easeful way for it to release the resistance and move forward with your transformation/goal?
- What if the process of partnering with your resistance created more trust within yourself?
What you’ll learn listening to this episode on Overcoming resistance:
- 6 steps to overcoming resistance in your transformation
- Why fighting resistance is getting your stuck
- Self-leadership approach to transformation
- Why creating safety for resistance is the path to overcoming resistance
Mentioned in the show:
Undiet Your Life Coaching Program
Episode Transcript:
Going Beyond The Food Ep354-Overcoming Resistance To Do What You Want To Do
This is episode 354 of The Beyond the Food Show, and today, if you are struggling with resisting doing what you need to do to get what you want, this episode is for you. I'm gonna show you and teach you a way of approaching resistance that's gonna allow you to melt the resistance and do the damn thing.
Ready? Stay tuned.
Hey, my sister. Welcome back to the podcast. The title of this episode is Overcoming the Resistance to Do What You Wanna Do. And I was inspired to share this podcast with you because I have figure it out, a way to overcome my own resistance to a particular project that I have in my business, and it's about to come to life. So I successfully overcame a resistance that was present for close to one and a half year. And a lot of the work that I do inside of Undiet Your Life or Undiet Your Coaching is learning from my own journey, application with client, seeing what work and what doesn't work, and coming up with a body of work, coming up with the methodology that can then be applied to masses.
So this particular project in my business has been a learning ground for me for one and a half. I am not gonna reveal to you what this project is and it's about, because that is not the purpose of this episode. But if you're listening, live to the podcast, know that within the next two weeks, so this podcast is being released on April the 13th, know that by April the 23rd, this project will be public.
With that being said, I'm gonna leave the project behind for the rest of the podcast and I'm gonna talk about resistance. And I wanna explain to you how I experience resistance. I have this desire to do a thing, and I know it's for the highest good of me and the highest good of my environment and the people around me. So I want you to think about that in the application and into your own life that it is to, let's imagine you are a woman who has children, has a child, and you know that you want to break the intergenerational trauma of dieting that your mom passed on to you and you don't wanna pass it on to your children. You know that you need to do your personal work un dieting your life, learning to eat in a peaceful way, making peace with your body, learning to accept yourself, detox your language and your family in your house, how you speak to yourself to really peel di culture from you. You know that's right for you. You know you're gonna live a better life, a bigger life and a bolder life if you do that, and you know it's going to positively impact your children. I want you to think about that it is you that I'm describing right now, or perhaps that's not you, but I want you to think of this, one of this big project in your life that you know can be similar to that and have positive impact for you and for people around you and you know it's the right thing to do, but you're resisting. You're resisting. You perhaps describe yourself being stuck. You know it's the right thing to do, but you just can't bring yourself to do it.
How do we overcome that resistance? And that resistance is present very often for me inside of Undiet Your Life for people prior to joining Ondi Your life. They have something that happened in their life, becoming a mother, being diagnosed with a health condition, wanting to move forward in their career, wanting to liberate themselves so they can move and leave a relationship, like there's a trigger in their life. In your life, your listener, and you know that joining my program is the right solution for you. It's gonna enable you to achieve this big thing, but you just can't bring yourself to press the buy button.
So what can you do? I'm gonna walk you through six steps for you to overcome that kind of resistance and bring yourself to a place of just doing the damn thing. And the number one step or the number one place where you wanna start is thinking about your relationship to yourself. And I really want you to think about you leading yourself. Self leadership. How are you leading yourself in approaching this transformation, this goal you want to create in your life? Are you leading yourself in this journey? And if you are, how are you meeting the resistance that you're experiencing? Are you fighting that resistance? Are you the type of leader who gets angry at the resistance at the problem? Are you victim of the resistance? Are you saying, why is this happening to me? Like, why, why is only happening to me and all these other people can do it? Like, are you in the victim mindset? Are you leading yourself at this place in your transformation as a victim of? Are you leading yourself with compassion? Are you leading yourself with acceptance of the resistance as one of the many part of the journey towards your goal? Are you creating safety for that part of you who is resisting doing what's best for you.
And most often we don't. Most often we don't because of how we have learned to lead ourselves through our years being oppressed by DI culture. For many of us, our self-leadership or the way we approach our own transformation is through blaming. It's through pressure, it's through fighting. It's through being an oppressor to ourselves, beating ourselves up like we created this and what's wrong with me? And like, depriving yourself of goodness in your life because you're resisting, right? It's a really, it's a punitive kind of relationship, right? Think about the old school way of parenting, right? You wanted your child to behave in this way and you imply that punishment was needed in order to create the behavior in the child. That's what DI culture does to us, right? It punish us, it deprives us until we behave in the way that DI culture says we need to behave in order to get the infinite 2% or 5% result that it promises. For many of us, we've been in that mindset since our teens, and that's the only way we know to relate to ourselves. But when it comes the time to overcome the resistance to do what's right for us in a non-punitive way, we just don't know how to engage with resistance.
My invitation for you is to lean in to the resistance, is to meet the resistance you're experiencing with compassion, with understanding. Oh, it makes total sense that I would be resisting accepting my body because I was, for 20 years since my mid-teens, socialize to hate my body. So now I'm having to do the opposite of what I've done my whole life. For sure, it's gonna be hard. I'm gonna be resisting thinking in this new way.
So lead yourself in a compassionate and safe way. Be the leader you want to experience. You wanna experience safe leadership, compassionate leadership. Lead yourself in that way. And step number two, don't forget that creating safety as a leader is creating safety for the thoughts you're having about the resistance, but it's also creating safety in your body. It's actually embodying the safety, not just telling yourself, oh, it's totally normal that I'm experiencing that resistance, but also bringing it to real life into your body by allowing the resistance to be there, to make friend with that resistance. Invest time in being with the resistance in this new way. Invest resources, whatever they are, money, time, mental space, emotional space, to make the resistance you're experiencing safe for you. Once you've embodied, when you've led yourself to embody safety, both in the way you're thinking about the resistance you're experiencing and into your body, then move into asking yourself consent.
I know this is gonna blow your mind, probably. We live in a society right now, which is very focused on consent, right? Externally, organization, asking their client consent or professional, asking their clients consent. Like we live in a consensual phase of our society, but what we often forget, is that we need to ask ourselves consent in our own relationship to ourself. Remember, you are the leader of your own transformation. Do you ask yourself consent? Do I want to do this? Do you give yourself the option of saying no, or do you operate from I have to. I have to, I have to. I'll go back to this example of mom, the mother of a child who wants to break up the intergenerational trauma of DI culture. Does she walk into the project of accepting herself and undying her life with I have to and I have to do it fast and it has to happen now or she creates safety for what she is right now and the fact she hates her body and she gives herself the time to sit with what she's realized that Dia culture is a thing, that she hates her body and it's just a result of socialization, and then she takes time to ask herself, do I wanna do this work? Do I want to invest time to read new information? Do I want to invest time to show up to being coached, like literally to take an hour off my schedule and have somebody help me understand my brain? Am I ready to do this work? Do I want to do this work? And am I willing to make the arrangement in order for me to do this work?
So asking ourselves consent, and whatever the answer is, allow it to be. And allow the next resistance to move in, right? Perhaps you are asking yourself consent, you're like, yes, I want to do this. But then it comes to scheduling it into your calendar, and now you hit the new level of resistance, right? You're looking at your calendar, you're like, no, I don't have time for this. It's impossible. I'm gonna have to sleep less. And then your brain goes back to the old way of leading yourself again, right. These layers of resistance are gonna be throughout your entire creation of your goal, the pursuit of your goal, of your transformation. Once you've overcome the first, it's like peeling, I always say that to my students, like appealing an onion. You gonna peel one layer and another layer will appear.
Allow. Allowance is the path. Allowance is the path for you to overcome the resistance, no matter which layer it is. Allow it to be there and need it. Need that new layer of resistance with compassion and neutrality. And then move into that next layer with the same place. Allow it to be needed with compassion and create safety, and then ask yourself, okay, do I want to say no to certain things on my calendar in order for me to make time and invest my time in becoming and learning and practicing being someone who accepts her body? Do I want to do that? Again, consent. With every layer of the onion, we repeat the same thing. We then ask consensual consent, and then we take the action from that place and we make room in our calendar. We stop doing certain things to do the new things are gonna lead us to become this new version of ourselves.
I'm gonna leave you with three powerful question to ask yourself. You're not familiar with powerful question, these are a question we coach and teach that within all of my program to help you think, help you create a new way of thinking for the goal you're going to achieve or for becoming the version of yourself who has the goal, the transformation completed, and practicing thinking like this version of yourself who has transformed herself or has achiever goal. So powerful thinking is a training ground for you to train your brain to think differently in order for you to achieve your transformation and overcome the resistance.
So I'm gonna give you these questions. You may wanna write them down. I'm gonna put them also, as I'm thinking about that, I'm gonna put them in the show note, if you want to copy and paste them. I have them in a Google Doc here, so I'm gonna drop them quickly in the show note. You can go to stephanie 3 54, which is the number of the episode.
Okay, number one question is, what if the resistance I'm experiencing wasn't there to prove me wrong, but instead to deliver an important message straight from my intuition, wisdom or God, depending on your belief system. So if you're a God person, replaced the word intuition from God, my innate wisdom, my intuition. It's like, what if the resistance I'm experiencing right now was there to deliver an important message from my intuition?
Question number two. What if partnering with my resistance was actually the most useful way for this resistance to be release, to be melted away. Explore that. Ask your brain that question, like put yourself in front of a blank piece of paper. Just put your pen, write the question at the top of that journal Norlan entry and ask yourself that question until your brain starts thinking of an answer, and then just start writing.
Third question. What if the process of doing that, of accepting, leaning into my resistance created more trust within myself? What if the action of leaning into my resistance actually allowed me to create more trust within myself? What if that was the gateway of trusting yourself? And just as a side note, trust is the baseline of un dieting your life. So if you're listening to this podcast because that's your transformational goal on diet your life, know that the entire journey of accepting your body, of changing the way you relate to health and weight and food is going to be to learn to trust yourself in each one of those circumstance. Learn to trust yourself with food, which your health, with your body, with yourself, with your thinking, with your emotion, because that's what oppressive system, a K a di culture, patriarchy, steals from us is the ability to trust ourselves. So we have to rebuild this ability to trust ourselves. So what if learning to lead yourself with compassion and safety towards the resistance you're experiencing was just another way for you to learn to trust yourself?
I hope this helps you approach the resistance in your particular life. I know for me, creating this way of approaching resistance specifically for my community, allowed me to bring a project that has been on my mind for, as I mentioned, a year and a half in the most compassionate, powerful way. And I know that because I approach the resistance in that safe, loving way. What I'm creating when I'm about to put out in the world is going to be safe and powerful and how you are going to experience it if you join me in this new project that I'm creating.
As always, if you have any question, you can submit that at [email protected]. I love you, my sister, and I'll see you on the next podcast.
Going Beyond The Food Ep354-Overcoming Resistance To Do What You Want To Do
This is episode 354 of The Beyond the Food Show, and today, if you are struggling with resisting doing what you need to do to get what you want, this episode is for you. I’m gonna show you and teach you a way of approaching resistance that’s gonna allow you to melt the resistance and do the damn thing.
Ready? Stay tuned.
Hey, my sister. Welcome back to the podcast. The title of this episode is Overcoming the Resistance to Do What You Wanna Do. And I was inspired to share this podcast with you because I have figure it out, a way to overcome my own resistance to a particular project that I have in my business, and it’s about to come to life. So I successfully overcame a resistance that was present for close to one and a half year. And a lot of the work that I do inside of Undiet Your Life or Undiet Your Coaching is learning from my own journey, application with client, seeing what work and what doesn’t work, and coming up with a body of work, coming up with the methodology that can then be applied to masses.
So this particular project in my business has been a learning ground for me for one and a half. I am not gonna reveal to you what this project is and it’s about, because that is not the purpose of this episode. But if you’re listening, live to the podcast, know that within the next two weeks, so this podcast is being released on April the 13th, know that by April the 23rd, this project will be public.
With that being said, I’m gonna leave the project behind for the rest of the podcast and I’m gonna talk about resistance. And I wanna explain to you how I experience resistance. I have this desire to do a thing, and I know it’s for the highest good of me and the highest good of my environment and the people around me. So I want you to think about that in the application and into your own life that it is to, let’s imagine you are a woman who has children, has a child, and you know that you want to break the intergenerational trauma of dieting that your mom passed on to you and you don’t wanna pass it on to your children. You know that you need to do your personal work un dieting your life, learning to eat in a peaceful way, making peace with your body, learning to accept yourself, detox your language and your family in your house, how you speak to yourself to really peel di culture from you. You know that’s right for you. You know you’re gonna live a better life, a bigger life and a bolder life if you do that, and you know it’s going to positively impact your children. I want you to think about that it is you that I’m describing right now, or perhaps that’s not you, but I want you to think of this, one of this big project in your life that you know can be similar to that and have positive impact for you and for people around you and you know it’s the right thing to do, but you’re resisting. You’re resisting. You perhaps describe yourself being stuck. You know it’s the right thing to do, but you just can’t bring yourself to do it.
How do we overcome that resistance? And that resistance is present very often for me inside of Undiet Your Life for people prior to joining Ondi Your life. They have something that happened in their life, becoming a mother, being diagnosed with a health condition, wanting to move forward in their career, wanting to liberate themselves so they can move and leave a relationship, like there’s a trigger in their life. In your life, your listener, and you know that joining my program is the right solution for you. It’s gonna enable you to achieve this big thing, but you just can’t bring yourself to press the buy button.
So what can you do? I’m gonna walk you through six steps for you to overcome that kind of resistance and bring yourself to a place of just doing the damn thing. And the number one step or the number one place where you wanna start is thinking about your relationship to yourself. And I really want you to think about you leading yourself. Self leadership. How are you leading yourself in approaching this transformation, this goal you want to create in your life? Are you leading yourself in this journey? And if you are, how are you meeting the resistance that you’re experiencing? Are you fighting that resistance? Are you the type of leader who gets angry at the resistance at the problem? Are you victim of the resistance? Are you saying, why is this happening to me? Like, why, why is only happening to me and all these other people can do it? Like, are you in the victim mindset? Are you leading yourself at this place in your transformation as a victim of? Are you leading yourself with compassion? Are you leading yourself with acceptance of the resistance as one of the many part of the journey towards your goal? Are you creating safety for that part of you who is resisting doing what’s best for you.
And most often we don’t. Most often we don’t because of how we have learned to lead ourselves through our years being oppressed by DI culture. For many of us, our self-leadership or the way we approach our own transformation is through blaming. It’s through pressure, it’s through fighting. It’s through being an oppressor to ourselves, beating ourselves up like we created this and what’s wrong with me? And like, depriving yourself of goodness in your life because you’re resisting, right? It’s a really, it’s a punitive kind of relationship, right? Think about the old school way of parenting, right? You wanted your child to behave in this way and you imply that punishment was needed in order to create the behavior in the child. That’s what DI culture does to us, right? It punish us, it deprives us until we behave in the way that DI culture says we need to behave in order to get the infinite 2% or 5% result that it promises. For many of us, we’ve been in that mindset since our teens, and that’s the only way we know to relate to ourselves. But when it comes the time to overcome the resistance to do what’s right for us in a non-punitive way, we just don’t know how to engage with resistance.
My invitation for you is to lean in to the resistance, is to meet the resistance you’re experiencing with compassion, with understanding. Oh, it makes total sense that I would be resisting accepting my body because I was, for 20 years since my mid-teens, socialize to hate my body. So now I’m having to do the opposite of what I’ve done my whole life. For sure, it’s gonna be hard. I’m gonna be resisting thinking in this new way.
So lead yourself in a compassionate and safe way. Be the leader you want to experience. You wanna experience safe leadership, compassionate leadership. Lead yourself in that way. And step number two, don’t forget that creating safety as a leader is creating safety for the thoughts you’re having about the resistance, but it’s also creating safety in your body. It’s actually embodying the safety, not just telling yourself, oh, it’s totally normal that I’m experiencing that resistance, but also bringing it to real life into your body by allowing the resistance to be there, to make friend with that resistance. Invest time in being with the resistance in this new way. Invest resources, whatever they are, money, time, mental space, emotional space, to make the resistance you’re experiencing safe for you. Once you’ve embodied, when you’ve led yourself to embody safety, both in the way you’re thinking about the resistance you’re experiencing and into your body, then move into asking yourself consent.
I know this is gonna blow your mind, probably. We live in a society right now, which is very focused on consent, right? Externally, organization, asking their client consent or professional, asking their clients consent. Like we live in a consensual phase of our society, but what we often forget, is that we need to ask ourselves consent in our own relationship to ourself. Remember, you are the leader of your own transformation. Do you ask yourself consent? Do I want to do this? Do you give yourself the option of saying no, or do you operate from I have to. I have to, I have to. I’ll go back to this example of mom, the mother of a child who wants to break up the intergenerational trauma of DI culture. Does she walk into the project of accepting herself and undying her life with I have to and I have to do it fast and it has to happen now or she creates safety for what she is right now and the fact she hates her body and she gives herself the time to sit with what she’s realized that Dia culture is a thing, that she hates her body and it’s just a result of socialization, and then she takes time to ask herself, do I wanna do this work? Do I want to invest time to read new information? Do I want to invest time to show up to being coached, like literally to take an hour off my schedule and have somebody help me understand my brain? Am I ready to do this work? Do I want to do this work? And am I willing to make the arrangement in order for me to do this work?
So asking ourselves consent, and whatever the answer is, allow it to be. And allow the next resistance to move in, right? Perhaps you are asking yourself consent, you’re like, yes, I want to do this. But then it comes to scheduling it into your calendar, and now you hit the new level of resistance, right? You’re looking at your calendar, you’re like, no, I don’t have time for this. It’s impossible. I’m gonna have to sleep less. And then your brain goes back to the old way of leading yourself again, right. These layers of resistance are gonna be throughout your entire creation of your goal, the pursuit of your goal, of your transformation. Once you’ve overcome the first, it’s like peeling, I always say that to my students, like appealing an onion. You gonna peel one layer and another layer will appear.
Allow. Allowance is the path. Allowance is the path for you to overcome the resistance, no matter which layer it is. Allow it to be there and need it. Need that new layer of resistance with compassion and neutrality. And then move into that next layer with the same place. Allow it to be needed with compassion and create safety, and then ask yourself, okay, do I want to say no to certain things on my calendar in order for me to make time and invest my time in becoming and learning and practicing being someone who accepts her body? Do I want to do that? Again, consent. With every layer of the onion, we repeat the same thing. We then ask consensual consent, and then we take the action from that place and we make room in our calendar. We stop doing certain things to do the new things are gonna lead us to become this new version of ourselves.
I’m gonna leave you with three powerful question to ask yourself. You’re not familiar with powerful question, these are a question we coach and teach that within all of my program to help you think, help you create a new way of thinking for the goal you’re going to achieve or for becoming the version of yourself who has the goal, the transformation completed, and practicing thinking like this version of yourself who has transformed herself or has achiever goal. So powerful thinking is a training ground for you to train your brain to think differently in order for you to achieve your transformation and overcome the resistance.
So I’m gonna give you these questions. You may wanna write them down. I’m gonna put them also, as I’m thinking about that, I’m gonna put them in the show note, if you want to copy and paste them. I have them in a Google Doc here, so I’m gonna drop them quickly in the show note. You can go to stephanie 3 54, which is the number of the episode.
Okay, number one question is, what if the resistance I’m experiencing wasn’t there to prove me wrong, but instead to deliver an important message straight from my intuition, wisdom or God, depending on your belief system. So if you’re a God person, replaced the word intuition from God, my innate wisdom, my intuition. It’s like, what if the resistance I’m experiencing right now was there to deliver an important message from my intuition?
Question number two. What if partnering with my resistance was actually the most useful way for this resistance to be release, to be melted away. Explore that. Ask your brain that question, like put yourself in front of a blank piece of paper. Just put your pen, write the question at the top of that journal Norlan entry and ask yourself that question until your brain starts thinking of an answer, and then just start writing.
Third question. What if the process of doing that, of accepting, leaning into my resistance created more trust within myself? What if the action of leaning into my resistance actually allowed me to create more trust within myself? What if that was the gateway of trusting yourself? And just as a side note, trust is the baseline of un dieting your life. So if you’re listening to this podcast because that’s your transformational goal on diet your life, know that the entire journey of accepting your body, of changing the way you relate to health and weight and food is going to be to learn to trust yourself in each one of those circumstance. Learn to trust yourself with food, which your health, with your body, with yourself, with your thinking, with your emotion, because that’s what oppressive system, a K a di culture, patriarchy, steals from us is the ability to trust ourselves. So we have to rebuild this ability to trust ourselves. So what if learning to lead yourself with compassion and safety towards the resistance you’re experiencing was just another way for you to learn to trust yourself?
I hope this helps you approach the resistance in your particular life. I know for me, creating this way of approaching resistance specifically for my community, allowed me to bring a project that has been on my mind for, as I mentioned, a year and a half in the most compassionate, powerful way. And I know that because I approach the resistance in that safe, loving way. What I’m creating when I’m about to put out in the world is going to be safe and powerful and how you are going to experience it if you join me in this new project that I’m creating.
As always, if you have any question, you can submit that at [email protected]. I love you, my sister, and I’ll see you on the next podcast.
