360-Shopping & Styling Your Wardrobe After Stopping Dieting with Plus Size Styling Coach Liz Thogerson

Going Beyond The Food Show Ep360-Shopping & Styling Your Wardrobe After Stopping Dieting with Liz Thogerson

This is episode 360 of The Beyond the Food Show and today, I have a treat for all of you that are struggling with dressing up your body, anything to do with wardrobe, styling, and clothing specifically in the post phase of UND dieting Your life. We have a special guest: plus size styling coach, Liz, that's gonna walk us through what we can do step by step. Stay tuned.

Hello my sisters and welcome back to the podcast. Today is a special request podcast from one of you listening right now, and you know who you are. We have been conversing on, I think was on the Instagram, on the DM side of it, and that was one of your requests: styling, shopping, dressing up your body after having indicted your life.

And I know from hearing from other of you inside of my program, that's a real, real thing, something that many of us, myself included, have to relearn to do, how to dress up our now body. And I was introduced to someone perhaps six weeks ago, and I just fell in love with her. Her name is Liz, so I asked her to come onto the podcast and talk to us about that. What is really unique about Liz is that she has the same journey as all of us here. She uniced her own life listening to this podcast by the way. What I didn't know when I started to talk with her is that she's a longtime listener of this podcast, going beyond the Food Show. And she's been listening and doing the work, and she's Ted, her life. She's a body nurture person, she's an intuitive eater, and she has moved that into her business. So as a style coach, as a plus size body style coach, she helps you your closet, I guess.

Anyway, I'm gonna ask my team to roll in the interview. I think it's brilliant. Go get her three B. She has something called the wheel of style. We've put the link in the show note. I think it would be a great first step for you if that is the next step in your journey. Enjoy. ​

Stephanie: Welcome to the podcast, Liz.

Liz: Thank you, Stephanie. I'm very happy to be here.

Stephanie: I'm excited to put a face on the DM conversation. [ Me too.] This conversation we're gonna have today was driven by one of my student who sent me a DM about clothes that I was wearing, was asking me how did I create my wardrobe, and I'm like, well, I just do.

Stephanie: But I'm not the best person to answer those questions, and you happen to show up in my feet. I'm like, oh, this person, this person can help me. And here we are, four to five weeks later, we're having a conversation about helping you, listener, I guess come into your style, come into yourself, to your style. Is that a great way of saying what you do?

Liz: Absolutely. Absolutely. What I do is I use your innate style traits, your style biology to help you take conscious style risks, build a wardrobe, and celebrate yourself every day.

Stephanie: This is amazing. And for those who you'll know, Liz, after the show when you go and follow her, but she's in a larger body, so she's not like in the 10 ideals and she's stylish and she coaches people in larger bodies. So you guys, she is your person you want to go and follow.

Stephanie: So here's a question that started the conversation and then we can start from there. One of our tool that we use in body neutrality is the circumstance of our closet. [Mm-hmm.] And nearly all of my client that do my program have a section of their closet, that's like the thin version of themselves and the expansive clothes and all the tools of the bass and it's there. [Mm-hmm.] And every time they walk into their closet, it's like a trauma happening. Every morning, they see that part of their closet and it's almost impossible to get rid of the stuff and bring new clothes in.

Stephanie: [ Yes.] How can you help us with that? Can you walk us through that?

Liz: This circumstance you're describing is so common. It's so, so common. I see it all the time. Almost all of us have at least one piece, but many of us have many pieces that do not fit, are never going to fit again, and we just can't let it go.

Liz: So, I approach this in several ways with my clients. I have them reflect back to their core values, which we define at the beginning of our process together. And I have everyone established three core value words that are going to guide all of our actions throughout our coaching journey. And almost never is someone's core value word thinness or attractiveness or desirability or restriction or anything, even remotely approaching those words. And there are usually two reasons why we hold onto these things, one of which is what I call the motivation fallacy. Either we think that this collection of clothing is going to somehow motivate us to lose the weight so that we can get back into those clothes, which I then remind my clients, when was the last time bullying got you a desired result in your life, because that's what's happening here.

Liz: Or the second circumstance under which these clothes tend to accumulate is what I call or what I refer to as scarcity mindset, which can affect many areas of our life. But we've found this piece, it fit at one time, we loved wearing it, maybe we made some special memories in it, and we attached this finality this, this finite amount of possibilities and we attach it to this garment of clothing.

Liz: And that's very limiting. It's very limiting in our beliefs. It's very limiting in the utility of this item. And I just remind people like, this is not your only piece of the pie. Trust yourself to have the resources and to be brave and to be curious about replacing this item with something that's actually going to serve you now. Cherish those memories that were attached to that piece for what they were. Be grateful for that, and also trust yourself to let that go and believe that more of that joy and more of those experience are all ahead of you. There's more ahead. We don't need to live in the past, and that's what we do a lot with our clothes.

Stephanie: I love that because it is in parts, carc city mindset and that's what DIA culture does. Right. The not enough syndrome. I always say how we do one thing is how we do everything, and you just now taught me that it shows up into your closet and the way you deal with clothes in the same way it was with food and the body size and the finances. It's just, it's the how we do one thing is how we do everything.

Liz: Yeah. Absolutely. I tell people all the time, it's so not just about the clothes. It's about your life, how you talk to yourself, how you function, and what you believe to be true.

Stephanie: So, let's go to the next step then. The person starts releasing, the woman starts releasing the clothes, the next level of question we get, so how do we go about investing, buying more clothes and having all the old thoughts, you shouldn't be buying that, and oh my God, I'm this size, I didn't realize I was this size and I don't know how to dress myself and everything is ugly. And I'm sure you can give me more thoughts, but all those thoughts happen. How would you coach us through that?

Liz: So luckily, before we would even get to the point of purchasing new items, we are going to establish unique criteria for each person that's dedicated to the innate style traits that are already in you. So we've, we know your colors, we know your body architecture, and we know your style archetypes, which are kind of your personality in clothing form.

Liz: So when we are choosing clothes, we have these very tangible criteria that we're measuring clothing against so that when you are investing, you know you're purchasing the correct piece. [Okay.] And that is what gives my clients a little bit of permission to take some risks because they have done that work upfront to feel secure in their choices.

Liz: But let's say, you haven't had your style biology done yet. You know, talking to your listeners right now, you haven't defined your style biology, but you know you need some clothes. I want you to commit to yourself that you deserve to feel comfortable, you deserve to have clothes that are motivating you out the door to experience the experiences that life has to offer for you.

Liz: If your clothes don't fit, if they're too frumpy and sloppy and loungy, that's going to motivate you to do what? Stay at home behind closed doors. Stay on the couch, say no to that date, say no to that dinner. You deserve the pieces that are going to make it easier for you to say yes to everything that life has to offer. So if you think about the, what you'll be doing in these clothes, hopefully that will make it a little bit easier for you to take the leap and take the plunge.

Stephanie: Yeah. It's like an added layer of safety, an added layer of direction towards what you want in your life. [Right? Exactly.]

Stephanie: So as a coach and nutritionist, which has, I'm not a stylist clearly, so here's the advice I was giving to women. Tell me if it's right or wrong. People that were afraid of investing, I would say, okay, go to a store like without naming it, Old Navy, like a lower price bracket, [mm-hmm] and at at least buy stuff that you're gonna feel comfortable in.

Stephanie: Let's hit that bracket of at least you won't feel tugging and pulling and then you can think about like more expensive piece and like more stylish piece later. Was that good or I actually got them into the wrong direction?

Liz: No, that's exactly perfect. Starting with some comfortable basics that fit properly, that are the correct size, that is like the foundation that needs to be laid before, before we add the, the fun sparkles and sprinkles. [Pink blazer] Yes, [I'm wearing today] a pink blazer. Yes, exactly. That's great advice.

Stephanie: And the other question I want you to answer or help us understand is when we go to that store and we start like going into the fitting room and putting the clothes on, there's all kinds of critical thoughts that come in about why I shouldn't be this size and why am like, it's almost like, and I went through that phase where we needed two x, we're gonna try to make ourselves fit in the one X, not just, not to put the two x on. Have you experienced that or had to coach people through that?

Liz: Absolutely. Absolutely. Trying to make something work that isn't working [yes] is the quickest way, right back to dissatisfaction with your closet. That is like a one way ticket to hating your closet all over again. So it's a very similar self conversation that needs to happen just like when we're relearning how to eat or how to avoid that tempting new diet. [Mm-hmm.] It's, you know, putting kind of a stake in the ground and looking yourself in the eye, in the mirror and saying, no, I'm not doing this anymore. What has gotten me here is not going to get me where I want to go. And, you can make that choice to not entertain those, that negative self-talk. You can make the choice to believe your next thought. That's what I coach my client on. What's your follow up thought to thinking, man, I wish I didn't have to have this size. You get to pick that second thought, and I would hope that that second thought is, but I deserve to feel comfortable. I deserve clothes that fit me properly, and I'm not going back to that old way.

Stephanie: That's beautiful. And I wanted to say, as you were saying those things, then perhaps the next level is when you feel comfortable with those basic is how can I express myself to my close [yes]. I'm at that stage now, like I'm ahead of all my clients, obviously, but I'm at the place where close serves a form of expression. [Absolutely. It does.] Like it speaks for me when I walk into a room.

Liz: Yes, yes. That's exactly right. I ask all of my clients, how do you want people to feel when they see you coming?

Stephanie: Oh, I like that question.

Liz: Yeah. You haven't opened your mouth yet, but they see you coming. How do you want them to feel about that? And also,I could talk all day about how clothes are a form of self-expression, but we all have different, kind of different goals for how we want to affect those around us. And we have different goals about how we want to feel. So I just encourage everybody to see if you can treat getting dressed like playtime.

Liz: It's [ooh, that's cheesy] might, it might have been a while since we had fun getting dressed and that may feel very foreign and out of practice. But I think it's incredibly useful to channel your inner child a little bit and let him or her or them call the shots a little bit when you're getting dressed.

Liz: And if you wanna wear the cat socks, wear the cat socks. Let your inner child dress you for a day or two and see how that feels.

Stephanie: Yeah. And it's also the part of taking back our space, whatever space it is for you. Right. Claiming back your space. Because often if I turn back to years ago, it was like my closet was black. [Mm-hmm.] Right? Because I wanted to disappear, like I wanted to blend in and to make myself take less space. Where now my clothes are about taking place, like claiming the space and occupying space and getting people to turn in. And I get that's not the goal of everyone, but what space do you need, I guess would be the questions.

Liz: Mm-hmm. Absolutely. I'm really glad you brought up, color is such a powerful tool in your self celebration, understanding your place in the world. I know when I had my formal personal color analysis, i was shocked and I had a grieving process to let go of my fuzzy muted gray colors, but it turns out I need these bright, splashy rainbow cartoon bright colors, and that felt very scary for me.

Liz: But I embraced the process and it ended up, my colors taught me a lot about what it is to show up brighter, bigger, to be noticeable, to attract attention more often, and to trust that I can handle that and that I am capable of handling that level of, yeah, taking up space and being a little bit louder.

Liz: Yes, absolutely. And it was a very valuable experience that I did not expect at all from having my colors done.

Stephanie: Well, I was gonna ask for those people listening that are like middle stages or later stages where it's about finding their star biology, and we'll talk a little bit about your method in a bit here, but how did that help you find your career, your goals. How did your clothing and expressing yourself and your clothing helped other part of your life?

Liz: Mm-hmm. Wow, so many ways. Let's see if I can pick just a few. I think, due to the timing in my life when I was starting to explore my style, starting to train as a personal stylist, was around the same time that I discovered intuitive eating.

Liz: So I went through this very profound personal transformation on the inside at the same time that I was going through this transformation on the outside. And I feel very fortunate that those two, kind of catalysts for change in my life kind of occurred at the same time. Because right around the time that I was accepting my body for the size and the shape that it is, I was also learning how to dress it at the same time.

Liz: [Oh.] And I think that those two, the partnership of learning those two sides of myself, was extremely powerful. But to answer your question, dressing more authentically has helped me be a better mom. It's helped me be a better partner. It's helped me be more compassionate to other people. It's helped me to become more articulate, a little braver. I'm less afraid to speak my mind. I'm less afraid to volunteer for opportunities. I'm more open to like serendipitous occurrences, like speaking with you today, meeting you on the internet and becoming friends. Because I've learned that there's a place for me in the world and I'm allowed to enjoy that. I'm allowed to enjoy my place in the world. And I think clothing did that for me.

Stephanie: We are allowed to express ourselves, and it doesn't have to be through clothes. But for those of you who want it to be through clothes, there's a process and a path for that. You can express yourself through other form of art, could be dancing, singing, but for some of us, it's clothing.

Stephanie: And if you are someone who has gone through the process of accepting their body and wants to express themselves through clothing, I think, to me, when I look at your business, when I hear you talk, you are the best person that's the most equipped to help my listener and my clients find what you called their sta biology and express themselves because you've been there.

Liz: Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for saying that. That's what I'm passionate about. I am a body neutral anti-d diet stylist. I'm very careful about the language I use with my clients. I am never going to try and slim you with your clothes. I don't use the word elongating or slimming or flattering.

Liz: It's all about your actual values, of which I doubt looking as slim as possible is one of them. So I really try and I make a very conscious effort to make my coaching a safe space for women who are dealing with the heavy work of accepting themselves, embracing a more positive body image. And I think going through your closet with a loving, supportive professional, just like relearning your eating and indicting your life with a supportive, loving professional, brings about really profound change that can last a lifetime. [Yeah, absolutely.] Yep.

Liz: So I,I really tailor my programs to meet my clients exactly where they are, wherever they are, and to kind of collapse time between where they are and where they want to be with their aesthetic expression.

Stephanie: I love that, collapsing the time. Mike, you can do it on your own, but you can also do it in a much simpler, faster way through your process. The same thing for me. I mean, you can learn intuitive eating on your own or you can do it with us and we're gonna do it in twice as less amount of time in misery and suffering.

Liz: Yes, yes, exactly. Yes, exactly.

Stephanie: Talk to us about how you help people. I know you have their methodology, style, biology method, but what does that look like for anybody interested listening to the podcast?

Liz: Sure. So there are three pillars of style biology. The first pillar is your personal coloring. I do color analysis [Ooh] for all of my clients. Yes. So if you've heard of color analysis, that's the art and science of determining your season. They're named after the seasons of the year, summer, autumn, winter, spring. So all of my clients learn their season.

Liz: The second pillar of style biology is your body architecture. So I don't like to talk, I don't say body types. I don't call you a fruit shape. I don't call you anani object shape. We use geometry. We're talking about angles, we're talking about curves, we're talking about shapes and the tension of clothes and how your clothes are going to behave on your specific body architecture. And I make sure all of my clients know that the way they were built is correct. [Mm-hmm.] It's not an accident and it's a result of generations and generations of miracles to get you here on this planet, at this moment. And I think that's pretty special. So we go into depth about your body architecture so that you can understand how clothes are gonna behave.

Liz: And then the third pillar is your style archetypes, which is kind of a fancy way of saying your personality translated into clothing language. [Oh] So we're all, yeah, so we're all drawn to certain details, certain shapes, certain angles and textures, patterns, things like that. And that's all part of our personality. There's a direct link between how you live and what you're drawn to visually.

Liz: So once we have those three pillars in place, we have a very clear list of criteria to look for items that are in the right colors for you, that are gonna behave on your body and have those details that make your heart smile. [Yeah.] Once we do that, I walk you through editing your closet very intentionally, very systematically [Yeah] with a hand to hold and to support you all along the way because, we all know that can be an emotional process. And then once we're done editing your closet, we have a very clear plan. Together of where your gaps are that have critical pieces that need to be filled in. And as your personal shopper, I become your, you and I become a client stylist team to fill in those gaps in order of priority very consciously, according to your budget, so that it makes sense for you. And then you're left with a closet full of clothes that feel like you're best friends, that you're excited to wear.

Stephanie: Okay. I want you to say one thing. The other thing I hear a lot about is I don't know where to shop. There's not a lot of choice, and we're talking about Canada and US mainly people. Can you say, is that true or not?

Liz: We live in magical times where you can get on the internet and a little box or a big box can show up on your doorstep full of treasures that are exactly right for you. So, does it take a little bit of sleuthing, a little bit of trial and error, a little bit of bravery to try some new things in order from some new places? Absolutely. But there are myriad options for every style, every size, every personal coloring out there, and that is my, this is the hill I die on. If you have a body, there is beautiful style for you.

Stephanie: And you are there to help your client, direct them to some spots for them to do that shopping, like they don't have to go and search the internet, you'll direct them where they can go.

Liz: Yep. Not only that, I will pick the exact item that I want you to order.

Stephanie: Whoa. I know this is not something that's accessible to everybody, but if it's something that's financially accessible to you, do you know how your life is easy? I had to go through three years of like return and not fitting and like, oh my God, that doesn't fit. Find the tree stores now that I know and I order peace, it's gonna fit on me in that size.

Liz: Yeah. That's right. Now the average woman has over $3,000, US dollars of unwearable clothes [Yeah] in her closet. And my promise to my clients is that you will end the buying mistakes by the time I am done with you.

Stephanie: So you invest upfront [mm-hmm] and then you get your system of what you should and shouldn't buy, wear what you need, and you end up having a better closet that fits you, that express you and it costs you less.

Liz: That's right. Style is innate and style skills are teachable. You have everything you need inside of you right now and the capabilities to learn the rest. And that's what I do, is I teach you the skills that you need so that you can, so that my goal is that you won't need me after we're done together. I want you to be able to take the reins and trust your own voice even more than you trust mine.

Stephanie: And I'm gonna add Anne, no matter what the size of your body is. [That's right.] Because we hear that, like stylists like you talk, and then we land on their website and it's just young 10 body, and we're like, like no. Like this is an offer for people in all body size and if you're in the larger body, she's in the larger body and she can do all of that for you. And you're not an exception. You're not gonna feel like an exception to the rule.

Liz: That's right. Yep.

Stephanie: That's beautiful. Where can people find you?

Liz: You can find me on Instagram. My handle is at rise dot styling and you can find me [email protected].

Stephanie: Thank you. Anything you wanna mention that you think is important before we end this interview?

Liz: If I could impart one thing, if there was one thing I wanted everyone to take away, it's that we have one life and the way you dress yourself is the way you think about yourself.

Liz: So if you open your closet and see a disconnect between what you know to be true about yourself and what you're seeing, come talk to me, [yeah] doesn't have to be that way. [Pull that gap.] Yeah, that's exactly right. We can close that gap.

Stephanie: Thank you, Liz.

Liz: Thank you, Stephanie.